Friends
by these-dreams-go-on
Summary: A series of drabbles about Caroline and Elijah's friendship. Kalijah and Klaroline.
1. Television

A/N- I own nothing associated with TVD or TO.  
These are drabbles detailed Elijah and Caroline's friendship that I put up on my tumblr pages and are now here.

* * *

Caroline bit her lip to keep from screaming as she climaxed. She faltered in her movements and Klaus grabbed her hips, keeping her steady as she rode him through her orgasm until he exploded deep within her. She fell onto his chest panting and he laughed breathlessly,

"Good morning sweetheart" he murmurs, always pleased to wake up to find Caroline half-naked and ordering him to 'Fuck her hard'

She kissed his jaw and wiggled against him, "Good morning best lay ever"

Klaus frowned at that, Caroline usually only relented and uttered such phrases when she was dripping wet, desperate for his touch and begging which meant…

"I've just been used" he noted with a frown and she nodded, completely unrepentant,

"Yep, so in return for morning sex you're going to help me with this little problem…"

* * *

Living with one's entire family could occasionally be quite burdensome.

Especially when those family members all had supernatural hearing.

It meant that one had to be somewhat restrained during sex.

Or make improper use of silk ties.

Which led to an entirely different line of debauchery.

Elijah grinned as Katherine pulled against the ties that had her spread eagled on her stomach in their bed, holding onto the material as another orgasm rocked her body. He reached under her hip and played with her clit as he continued thrusting into her, ensuring a build-up of another orgasm before the last one had truly abated. She's moaning around the gag and her brunette curls are bouncing across her shoulders when her next orgasm has her walls clenching and driving him to his own delayed release.

He strokes her back tenderly and checks to ensure the gag isn't hurting her in anyway before kissing her neck,

"And how would you rate that performance?" he asks, trying to calculate the number of orgasms they'd had during the night's repeated activities. The silk beneath them was soaking wet and the smell of sex permeated the entire room.

Katherine can't speak but she can gesture with her hands and that gesture has him cursing at her stubbornness and storming into the shower, leaving her tied up amongst the ruined sheets.

* * *

Caroline heard the sound of butter- not margarine but French butter made in the same way it had been two hundred years ago with a special churner imported from Versailles- being scraped across toasted bread- German bread, made by a lovely old lady with the cutest little bakery- and swept into the kitchen with a bright smile on her face,

"Morning Elijah!"

Nothing.

"Lovely day today huh?"

Still nothing.

She scowled and turned to Klaus who had slunk in and was already at the table, slouched down in a chair and rapidly unfolding the newspaper in the hopes of avoiding this entire scenario.

Not after that morning sex he wasn't.

"_Klaus!_" Caroline stomped her bare foot and glared at him pointedly, "Tell Elijah to talk to me!"

He sighs, "Elijah, talk to Caroline"

Elijah raises his head from his breakfast preparations, "Who?"

She groans, "Seriously?! Okay, I'm sorry already, I've apologised like _a billion times_!"

He tosses the knife he was using in the sink and places both hands on the counter before glaring at Caroline, "It has not been 'a billion times' and if it had been it still would not make up for the damage you have caused"

Caroline's response is momentarily paused while the vampires listen to the sounds of Katherine working her way free of her restraints and

'_Who has the brains to break her chains and seize the reins?…'_

"Okay" she quickly regroups, "This isn't entirely my fault because the only things Katherine and I have in common is shopping and sex and I could handle another day shoe shopping with her. It is both exhausting and terrifying"

"You could have found something else" he points out and she throws her hands up,

"I did! We went to strip clubs together for like…three days straight but there's only so many penises I can look at before I start seeing all men as commodities who exist purely for my sexual gratification!"

Elijah snorts, "Niklaus?"

Klaus looked up from the paper, "Just to be clear, I have no problem whatsoever being reduced to a commodity that exists purely for Caroline's sexual pleasure"

"See" he gestures to his little brother, "You had an activity that worked for everyone involved, you spent time with Katherine, you both kept out of danger, you contributed to the New Orleans economy, you found fresh food and you both came home usually quite amorous, you could have maintained your friendship through that but you had to try and find a 'healthier outlet'"

"I'm sorry!" she repeated, "How was I supposed to know she'd take a musical comedy to heart and declare a fictional evil queen her 'spirit animal'?"

"By the simple fact that she was an evil, brunette queen who wore high heels and invaded entire countries for a single jewel?" Elijah pointed out,  
"When have you ever not known Katherine to be attracted to powerful, fashionable women?"

The sound of Katherine singing reached their ears, as she started running the shower

_'…More than just okay, I'd absolutely say more like middling to fair'_

"And do you know how irritating it is to have centuries of sexual talent reduced to the score of middling to fair?!"

"Seriously?!" Caroline rolled her eyes, "Obviously she just likes the phrase, nobody buys that many costumes and that truly horrific number of thongs if she doesn't enjoy sex and there is no way she could fake that many orgasms. She won't even drink a cocktail if the alcohol to sugar ratio isn't perfect, she wouldn't go down on you if she didn't get off on the…reciprocity"

"Please stop thinking and talking about my brother's sex life" Klaus interrupted, "And I hate to side with my brother…temporarily" he adds hastily when he sees that Caroline is giving him the ensuing abstinence glare, "But my minions are starting to get annoyed by the constant referral to them as 'inbreeds and halfwits'"

"Well if they were smarter they wouldn't have become your minions and they're all pureblood werewolves so statistically speaking they would have had to have inbred at some point" Caroline argues,

"And" she continues, "I thought the show would get her off Game of Thrones"

"Ah yes," Elijah sighs, "Let us not forget the Game of Thrones month long incident. The reason our sister Rebekah is currently sequestered in the Himalayas in a yurt three miles outside a tiny village with no internet connection and no clue who George R. R Martin is. My nephew Erik still answers to the name Joffrey and Niklaus is currently growing out his hair and wasting brain cells learning a fictional language just so he can command his horses again!"

"The silver bells are nice though" Klaus comments only to find Elijah pointing an angry finger at him,

"You put _one_ silver bell in your hair and I will burn New Orleans to the ground!"

Caroline winced, "Well…surely this is better than that?"

"Is it?" he challenged, "Because at this point I have a legitimate fear that Katherine will wear a push up bra and start a détente"

"Push up bra!" Caroline jumped on the detail eagerly, "Katherine's wearing more push up bras now, that's a good thing"

"Why?" he asked and she floundered, "Her breasts look bigger and perkier?"

"That only attracts more attention from others, I know perfectly well the shape and size of her breasts I have such an intimate acquaintance with them that I could draw an anatomically correct picture down to the last visible vein with my eyes blindfolded"

Caroline quickly realised that she was not winning this argument, especially when Katherine broke out into a rendition of 'Not the worst thing ever',

"Maybe I could substitute this current addiction for something less…" she tries to find the right words, "Threatening and annoying?"

Elijah only glares, "You will run it past me first or so help me god I will track down every last one of Niklaus' ex-girlfriends and invite them to New Orleans before compelling them to recount on camera every single sexual act performed between them and my brother, I will then lock you in a small room and play the video on loop for a week straight!"

He storms from the room, having completely forgotten his breakfast and Caroline turns to Klaus with an eyebrow raised,

"You know" he states, folding the paper back up, "I think he's really beginning to like you"

"How many ex-girlfriends do you have that are currently living?" she asks in a deadly tone,

"Oh don't worry sweetheart" he shrugs, "It won't come to that I'm sure we'll find something to distract Katherine before then"

* * *

The tv show in question is called Galavant and the songs are  
1\. I love you  
2\. No-one but you  
3\. Maybe you're not the worst thing ever.


	2. Easter

A/N- In which Elijah doesn't adapt well to Easter.

* * *

"_Niklaus!_"

Caroline nearly jumped out of her skin when Elijah stormed into the kitchen, "Where is that terrible excuse for a brother?"

She looked around, "Ummm…not here, are you…okay?"

Elijah Mikaelson was always pristinely put together. He was always impeccably groomed, his outfit was always immaculate and he was always composed. Even that time Caroline had-_accidentally_\- walked in on him and Katherine in the ballroom with his head between her thighs. He had simply wiped his mouth, greeted her politely and asked her to please excuse them for another hour unless there was an emergency.

Caroline only hoped that she could one day be that cool if someone walked in on her sucking Klaus off.

Now however, Elijah looked far from put together. His hair was messy, he was barefoot and wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

_Jeans_ and a_ t-shirt_!

Stake to her heart Caroline would never have guessed that Elijah Mikaelson owned a pair of jeans.

"No!" he tells her harshly,

"I am not okay and do you know what else is not okay?! Your Christian holidays make no sense. Why in the name of your God does the Christ-Son die and resurrect on different dates every year? Just pick a damn date and stick to it!"

Caroline takes a step back during this rant and wonders whether Elijah had been bitten by a werewolf and whether she should snap his neck or talk him down.

Fortunately he exhales and rubs his face,

"Forgive me Caroline, it is simply that these three days are an annoyance for me every year and because of the changing dates I am on edge for the entirety of March and April"

She quickly searches through her knowledge bank to try and figure out why a series of days that in the twenty-first century have essentially become 'Fish and Chip Friday', 'Frantic Shopping Saturday' and 'Chocolate for Breakfast Sunday' would be stressful for the eldest Original. She gives up,

"Um…is this religious insensitivity?" she asks, "Because we can totally spend more time focusing on your holidays, I just need some dates and some activities"

"No" he holds up a hand, "You are kind but no, that isn't the issue" he sighs,

"On this weekend Christians hide chocolates and children are supposed to hunt for them yes?"

She nods, "Yep,"

"Well…Niklaus instead chooses to hide my possessions, every year it's a different theme and the radius in which he hides them varies according to his bloody attention span and the strength of our relationship this year, which despite being at our best in centuries I am almost certain that my belongings are currently scattered across all of New Orleans!"

"Oh" Caroline drawls as comprehension hits her, "Yeah that's a dick move and yet, utterly Klaus…so what's he hidden, other than your suits and shoes I'm guessing?"

"This year it's any object I have that could be deemed valuable…and on that vein I haven't seen Katherine all bloody day"

"Okay" Caroline decides to speak up in defense of her boyfriend,  
"I doubt Klaus has hidden Katherine somewhere, for one thing she has a terrible attention span and at the very least she wouldn't have gone without a fight"

"You're right" he agrees all too quickly, "They're in this together"

She's beginning to see the same hint of frenzy Klaus sometimes gets in his eyes and reaches behind her for a knife and comes up instead with an Easter Egg,

"Want to eat all of Nik's chocolate as we go hunting?" she offers and he takes the candy with little grace,

"Only if you're willing to listen while I provide you with a great many reasons as to why you should abstain from sexual relations with my brother for the entirety of April"

She shrugs, she's been meaning to build a friendship with Elijah for a while now and if her sex life with Klaus has to be put on the back burner for a little while well…after the things she'd let him do to her last night maybe she should really lay off sex for a few weeks.

"Let's go"


	3. Distraction

A/N- So this is still a thing apparently.

* * *

"Sweetheart!"

Caroline Forbes raised her head with a sigh as her boyfriend's voice rang throughout the mansion. She was currently hidden away in her study trying to write a five thousand word essay that was due in two days and did not have time for distractions

"Yes?"

"Elijah just tried to kiss me" Klaus continued, "Is that allowed? Should I slap him or mildly insult him?"

What. The. _Fuck_?!

Oh.

"_Seriously?!_" Caroline shouted back, "Just trap him in a small room and have him starve to death if it's such an issue"

That earned her five minutes of peace until…

"Can vampires starve to death?"

"I don't know!" she snapped, "But keep him there til we find out"

* * *

_Half an hour later._

There was the clatter of heels on hardwood floor right outside her room,

"Elijah!" Katherine's voice was shrill and angry, "Give me back my damn laptop"

"Caroline" Elijah's voice resounded outside her door, "We need to talk"

She exhaled raggedly, "No we don't, go away"

He doesn't oblige, "Katerina has been committing extra-marital affairs and now I want to divorce her, how do I do this?"

"You can't divorce me," Katherine argues, "I'm carrying your damn child"

Caroline can almost see the doppelganger sticking her tongue out at her husband and knows the resulting smack was not _anywhere _that she wanted to think about.

"Go upstairs" the now husky voice commanded and Caroline deliberately blocks her ears but still manages to have her brain polluted by the ensuing remarks,

"Bet I can earn your forgiveness and my laptop back"

"Go now my darling"

_Ewww_.

* * *

_That evening._

"Anybody tries to talk to me and I burn this entire house down" Caroline warned as she stormed into the kitchen and headed straight for the espresso machine, "I swear I will kill all of you"

Rebekah raised her head and regarded her with troubled eyes,

"Nik drowned in the pool and now Kol's flirting with Death…literally they won't stop flirting, what do I do?"

Caroline ground her teeth, "You take a silver dagger, dip it in white oak ash and shove it…"

"There, there" Katherine came into the room and wrapped a soothing arm around her shoulder, "There, there my stressed wifey"

Caroline leaned her head on her friend's shoulder and allowed herself a moment of comfort before her mind processed what had been said,

"Wait…_wifey_?!"

"Oh yeah, I immolated Elijah right before our daughter was born and asked you to marry me, now I have an awesome mansion with a swimming pool"

Caroline surrendered with a sob and clutched the mug in her hands,

"I just wanted to distract you guys for a week. Not ruin what little sanity and familial love you guys had left"

"You and I had our first sex while shoe shopping" Katherine continued and Caroline wanted to throw the steaming coffee into her own face.

She staggered out of the room and, in search of something that made sense, traced Elijah's scent into the living room. She trudges over to the couch and almost falls upon it, curling as much of her body as possible into Elijah's side,

"I just killed Klaus and now I have his army werewolf children" he raises his head and offers her the sweetest sociopathic smile she's ever seen,

"I beginning to like this game"

"I just wanted to keep them amused and out of trouble for a while" she whimpers and he buries his face in her hair, chuckling at her idiocy,

"Now you have an idea of what the last nine centuries of my life has been like"

She groaned, "You could have warned me of this _before _I agreed to marry Klaus!"

He chuckled, "I believe my exact words the day you moved in were 'Good luck'"

She raises her head and glares, realising now that she'd been deliberately misled,

"You tricked me into thinking that was a throw away comment"

He shrugged, completely unrepentant, "Because I knew the phrase, 'Run for your life. Run, for the love of God, run away' Might lead to romantic discord between you and my brother"

"I hate you" she snaps, clambering off the couch and deliberately kneeing him in the balls as she went.

He grins, "Goodnight sweet sister-to-be"

* * *

A/N- I totally downloaded Katherine and Caroline for the game and now they are married and raising children together while occasionally luring in lovers and then having them mysteriously die for the fun of it. The problem with the later versions however is that it's harder to kill people now


End file.
